Do you prefer your films horror-comedy or comedy-horror? Contrary to popular belief, there actually is a difference; even if you don’t exactly come to realize it. Horror-comedy and comedy-horror fall under two sub-genres that mainstream viewers don’t seem to understand. [Hipsters, I swear!] Lately, it’s as if people just don’t “get it” when something is supposed to be funny in a horror movie. seriously. There’s been so many times in the past where I’ve actually nearly walked out of a theater for one of these films and all I hear is other people complaining that “it wasn’t very scary” or that it was really lame, not realizing that it was trying to be funny. and then there are some people who think that these sub-genres are new or that they invented them.. But I’m here, as your resident weird one saying that there is in fact a difference between horror-comedy and comedy-horror, and I’m interested to know which one you prefer, if you prefer one at all.

Disclaimer: I’m sure I don’t need to explain this to each and every one of you, since I’d assume you are clearly fans of the horror genre if you follow me on here, but let’s at least play catch up for anyone who may not be as horror-savvy as the rest of us.

Horror-comedies are first and foremost: horror movies, but have some comedic elements to go along with it. Before you jump at me, I’m fully aware that many horror films have humor as a point, but a horror-comedy film goes just “a little further” with the jokes, and the comedic feel. Here’s a few examples of horror-comedies to drive my point home:

Creepshow [and Creepshow 2]

The Cabin In The Woods

Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn

Fright Night

Drag Me To Hell

Like horror-comedy, comedy-horror is the opposite: when it’s mainly a comedy, but it has underlying themes of fear and horror. This is generally the choice genre for parody films; such as Scary Movie. Other examples of comedy-horror include:

Zombieland

Beetlejuice

Tusk

Shaun Of The Dead

Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil

While some of you might disagree with a few of the films’ placements on the above lists, these fall under what I consider a horror-comedy or a comedy-horror. It all boils down on what you consider your sense of humor, I suppose. In the past, I’ve talked to people about how they prefer their horror to be hard-hitting – like Evil Dead – with no humor involved, whatsoever, and I certainly understand that, but if you are walking into a horror-comedy or comedy-horror film knowingly; then you really don’t have an excuse to be disappointed when you walk out of the theater. Especially if you walked in willingly and understanding what it is.. Ultimately, I find myself more of a fan of the horror-comedy films. Don’t get me wrong – I love a good comedy-horror, but I find many of them to be more or less the same. They’re not really anything new, sadly..

So now I turn to you, what do you prefer? Are you a fan of the lighter feeling comedy-horror genre? Or do you prefer the films to be a darker and eerier feeling film? Let me know in a comment or two, with your favorite from the genre! If you found yourself to enjoy this article, then please take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 100+ likes – only 15 more and we’ll have reached 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

[sooner and sooner, as we approach October, #weirdoween is coming faster than ever: October on warrenisweird will be something to keep your eyes open for! STAY TUNED]

In all my time blogging about movies and movie-like news, I’ve learned one thing: people seem to love movie reviews. Whether it’s whenever I post one here on warrenisweird, or on my Letterboxd account, it’s something that people seem to love..or love to hate, which is a good -or a bad- thing. I enjoy writing them, and it gives me a feeling of excitement knowing that there’s at least one person out there that either agrees, or disagrees with my thoughts on a film. Thus, me doing something new during this, and every upcoming, Halloween Season.. I call it: weirdo’ween!

Usually – as an almost tradition – during the month of October, I watch more horror than I usually would, in order to get myself pumped for the 31st, when I usually watch Trick ‘r Treat. [I often consider it the definitive Halloween movie] Therefore, since tomorrow marks the first day of October, I have to prepare myself to watch; I already have a list written up of what I’ll be most likely be watching [as subject is to change at any time] and as someone who enjoys writing reviews [and you all seem to enjoy reading my thoughts on them] I will be watching -and then writing a spoiler filled review- of a movie every night, ending with Trick ‘r Treat on the 31st of the month. Naturally, this means the reviews might come off as long sometimes, depending how much gets said about each one! If at any time during the month you have a suggestion for the next film/review, be sure to leave it in a comment – because I just might watch it! As an introduction to weirdo’ween, let’s start with a direct to TV special that was never released to the general public, at least not on home video: Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel from 1982! I’m a huge fan of Burton‘s, so this should be interesting, right? well – let’s just cut to the review, shall we? We’ll talk about the obscurities afterwards.

Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel follows two children who are lured into the woods and are left for dead by their stepmother, who claims she cannot feed them. When they awaken, they come up to a house made of cake, and comfortably eat, and meet a woman who invites them to enter her “cake home”. Naturally, these two kids agree to go inside… only to find that this woman is actually a witch. It’s nothing new. We all know the fairy tale. Like expected, this version of the story follows the same structure and, in general, a lot of elements, including parts of the story that are often changed, like the swan scene. But, to many people’s surprise, it does change a few things.. and those changes – are fair sized. For some reason, the main cast is Asian, not a bad thing, just not what I was expecting. To add to this obscure piece of ‘art’, there is martial arts sequences – complete with shurikens. [seriously? what the hell am I watching?!] Remember in the original story, the idea was to to get the siblings fatter and fatter so the witch could eat them? Well, what’s used to fatten Hansel is a gingerbread man -that talks- and demands to be eaten.. We also see one of them getting grabbed by the many hands that are seen attached to a marshmallow bed he was seen sleeping in. I mean, it’s Hansel & Gretel, but it’s really not.. Even the wicked women in this are played by the same person, and it’s a man! In case you’re wondering we even seen him eat all of the scenery – whether it’s meant to be sugar, candy or otherwise.

If you haven’t already been able to tell, it’s fairly disturbing. I know you’re probably wondering but before you ask “isn’t this a children’s film?”, the answer is yes, but it is also a Brother’s Grimm story, and don’t forget, it’s also a Burton piece. He’s known for his trademarks, and they’re definitely shown in this short: gothic and surreal set pieces, creative design/visuals, exaggerated features, such as their huge dinner table, and some times, the same object can be both considered creepy, yet cute. In Hansel & Gretel, Father is a toy maker, allowing the viewer to see a lot of wound-up figures, though they’re mostly used in the opening sequence [did I mention that one of these eats another?!] The film is made up of both stop motion and live action; and sadly, you can usually tell where one ends and the other begins.Sometimes, the sets look cardboard-y, and some of the props don’t really feel “real”, although this could be intentional. Lastly, the cinematography is good, showing us how Burton‘s style is going to become in future movies.

Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretal is one hell of a movie, and it feels like a dream; you really can’t tell what’s real or not.. it’s obscure, it’s colorful, and it’s dark – and I don’t mean the set pieces. It’s definitely something you have to experience for yourself to get a feel for what I mean, but that could be said about any movie.. So because it’s something that’s only surfaced in the last few years, I have a treat for you: [that won’t be part of the rest of weirdo’ween] Here’s Tim Burton‘s Hansel & Gretel in it’s full obscurity below:

So this was #0.5 of weirdo’ween, with tomorrow being the first official movie review for the Halloween/weirdo’ween season. [weirdo’ween #01] Although I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know in a comment or two which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends!

THANKS FOR READING.

Sometimes, life throws us for a spin. Whether that’s because we are changing our lifestyles, or in Arthur‘s case: we inherit a house [and many other riches] from our late Uncle’s estate – it just so happens that for Arthur, this house has someone – or something – else living inside as well, and not just one but: Thir13en Ghosts!

That’s right, for the first episode of weirdo’ween I’m going to review a movie that isn’t terrible, but I used to be so afraid of; I watched it with the lights on. seriously. Even if it is a lackluster film, I do have it on my movie shelf, but that’s purely for nostalgic reasons: I mean, this movie isn’t the scariest movie you’ll ever watch, meaning don’t watch it with your new girlfriend hoping she’ll latch on to you and you’ll get cuddles all night, cause chances are; she’ll be looking at you with a raised eyebrow the rest of the night wondering why this was the movie you chose for your first date..moving on. If I were to explain the story, it’d feel kind of pointless, because it’s fairly generic [and a remake!] but this is a review – which means I’m going to tell you all about it anyway. Are you ready to walk into The House? Come on, it’ll be fun! Let’s start by talking about:

Our story follows a family without a mother, including Dad – Arthur [played brilliantly by Tony Shalhboub], Daughter – Kathy, Son – Bobby and the Nanny – Maggie, who all inherits a strange house, created by Arthur‘s Uncle Cyrus. We learn that Cyrus was a ghost hunter – because of course he is – with not one, but twelve ghosts who are all locked in the basement of the house. I should also mention that there is two other characters in the movie as well: Dennis – who can see future [and past] whenever he touches people. He worked with Cyrus during his ghost hunting days and Cyrus rival – Kalina. Naturally, even with Dennis by their side, it’s when the ghosts are unleashed, that these people have no choice but to save themselves.. However, as we learn from Kalina, this ‘house’ that was inherited isn’t even a house, but a highly complex machine built by Cyrus, which he called the “Ocularis Infernum“ [or in English: “Eye Of Hell“. that sounds promising..] which supposedly was created by/for The Devil and powered by the dead! Once it’s completed, this demonic device apparently could allow its user to see into the future. It isn’t until we discover that one of the ghosts is powering this machine is the spirit of his dead wife, Jean [hence the mother-less family] that things get..a little weird.

It becomes clear both to the characters, and the audience, that Arthur should take place as the house’s 13th ghost, because if he does; his sacrifice of pure love would combat all of the evil contained within the machine: therefore shutting it down – for good. I mean, I’m sorry.. pure love is the answer for demonic ghosts who are terrorizing a demon machine? I don’t know if I like that idea [morals are good, children..] or if I think it’s dumb. Does that realistically mean that the movie should be called Twelve Ghosts? I’m just saying; if there’s already 12 ghosts in this house, and Arthur has to “become” the 13th; wouldn’t that mean there’s only 12 at this exact moment in the film? Anyway. Let’s move away from that tidbit. Also, in case you haven’t seen the film, Cyrus is also revealed to be alive, having faked his death in order to lure Arthur to the house; and Kalina turns out to be his secret partner-in-crime! [and lover] It turns out that Cyrus has planned this whole thing, just so that Arthur will become the 13th ghost of the house. But wait! This isn’t going to stop the machine, but rather – to trigger it. Naturally, like all good villains, Cyrus ends up turning against his lover and has her crushed between two glass walls, [in all it’s bloody glory] claiming “greatness requires sacrifice.” Because, as we are learning today, to be “pure evil”; one of the prerequisites is being an asshole to your loved ones.

Aesthetically, The house looks great, spectacular even, and the art direction are very admirable for what they had. It’s just the fact that at times, that there is hardly any time to notice what’s going on in the background. But where the movie truly shines – at least in my opinion – is the ghosts themselves!

It’s not often you get a haunted house movie where the ones haunting are so diverse! From The Angry Princess to The Great Child, I just love that they’re all so different.  On the movie’s wiki page, there’s actual descriptions of each ghost; and how they became how they are. I also found myself to enjoy the idea of the glasses being the item that allows you to see the ghosts. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a new concept [cough – They Live – cough] but it gave the movie a more eerie feel; showing that without these “special glasses”, the ghosts could potentially be anywhere. Unfortunately, other than this and some of the casting choices, the movie isn’t that memorable. By the end of the movie, we see Arthur, who is visited by Jean‘s ghost. When all the ghosts disappear from the basement, [they responded to a tape-recorded summons played by Cyrus] Kathy and Bobby have been placed at the center of a set of spinning razor-sharp rings. Arthur and his Uncle are seen having a confrontation, which is interrupted by the sound of Maggie, who is seen trying to destroy the machine. She seems to do a fairly good job though, because the ghosts are seen released from their trance. All the ghosts except Jean immediately grab Cyrus, and toss him into the spinning rings. Dennis‘ ghost then appears, telling Arthur to go to his kids. Waiting for a break in the razor rings, Arthur jumps to save his children, making the leap without dying. wait, what? The house’s glass walls instantly shatter, releasing the spirits from their captivity. Finally, a peaceful-looking Jean lingers briefly to say her final goodbyes to her family, only to then depart with the all the other ghosts.

Of course, this is the part where I say whether or not I recommend the movie – and I do suggest this movie if you’re looking for a quick [and easy] horror movie; just don’t expect to be that terrified. There’s many better Haunted House films than Thir13en Ghosts out there. This one though, is a fun watch –  and best of all: you don’t really need to follow the story, because it doesn’t really have a good one. [a good number of plot holes!] If you do watch this movie, go in with a open mind, remember – it isn’t bad, but it really isn’t great.

So, with all this in mind; do you plan on seeing Thir13en Ghosts? If you already have seen it, what did you think about it? Worthwhile? Or completely a waste of time? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, even if I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #02! STAY TUNED!

just one of the many ghosts inside! Do you dare enter?

THANKS FOR READING.

You know, one thing I have always wanted to do is travel to different parts of the world. I’ve always been attracted to the idea of going cities/towns that aren’t familiar to me, and the idea of disappearing into a crowd – and getting the chance to be completely unrecognizable to those around me – is pretty damn awesome. I’d love to go somewhere that has a different meal plan than my own, and getting to try all sorts of things that I wouldn’t be able to try otherwise; even ideas like being shoved into a bullet-train in Japan, or taking a ride one of those boat things in Prague during the sunset sounds so exciting, and so different.. But you know what’s not awesome? [but certainly “different”] Being convinced to go somewhere you don’t know just because some hot European woman told you to, being kidnapped and tied up, and ultimately; tortured. slowly. At least, that’s what happens to Beth, Whitney, and Lorna in today’s weirdo’ween edition of Hostel: Part II. I’m going to warn you now, this particular review is long.. like a lot longer than my usual reviews. If you can handle a lot of reading. Let’s move on!

I actually really like Hostel – at least, the first two films – for their story telling. [we don’t talk about Hostel: Part III] I feel like they’re more than torture-porn, – which they get a lot of flack for – I like their story telling, the explanation that the real monsters are the ordinary/everyday people around us. To me, that is scary and knowing that being in an unfamiliar place; anything can happen. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed Hostel, but I’ve always preferred it’s sequel, Hostel: Part II, just a little bit more. Probably because we get more of a back story to how the Elite Hunting Club really works.

The film opens up with the lone survivor of the first Hostel film, Paxton, in a hospital being “treated” for his wounds that happened roughly a week before. While in the hospital, the Doctors are all asking questions involving the ones who “did this to him”. As he’s answering the questions as truthfully as he can remember, he starts noticing them whispering to one another, and he starts questioning if these “doctors” are truly the good people they come off as. Good thing Paxton seems to be good at reading people, cause when he mentions the tattoo that the Elite Hunting Club members all had, the head doctor rolls up his sleeve asking; Did it look like this? Paxton wakes up, and it was all a dream – but it’s seemingly obvious that he’s mentally disturbed from the whole thing. His girlfriend, Stephanie, tries to convince him to talk to someone but he won’t have any of it, explaining that “these people are tied into everybody“. The very next morning Stephanie wakes up to an empty bed [Paxton stayed awake after his nightmare, I guess?] only to discover his headless body seated at the kitchen table with their cat licking the blood from his neck.. [talk about ‘no strings left untied’!] Meanwhile, in Slovakia, a seemingly mysterious package is delivered to Sasha, who we learn is the head honcho of the Elite Hunting Club. From the reaction of Sasha‘s bloodhounds and the approximate size of the box, it’s pretty well assumed that this package had Paxton‘s head in it, which would explain why it wasn’t rolling on the floor or anything in his home.

We are then flash forwarded to Italy, where American art students Beth, Whitney, and Lorna are approached by the beautiful Axelle, a nude model they are sketching during what looks like an outdoor, free to join-like class, to join her on a vacation to a luxurious spa in Slovakia. The four decide travel by train to a small Slovakian village and check into the local hostel, [which, if you’ve seen the first film, it’s the exact same one] where the desk clerk [the same, creepy clerk from the previous film] takes their information for their night, and the girls go to their respective rooms. It’s only after they’re out of camera shot, that the desk clerk goes to a restricted area of the Hostel, and uploads their passport photos to an auction website, where it’s we see American businessman Todd bid on Whitney and Beth for himself and his passive best friend Stuart as their victims for their murder-vacation. I found this to be extremely important, because it shows us that there’s so much more to what we saw in Hostel – in Hostel: Part II, we see how the “bets” are placed, and how the information gets there..

Later that night, at the village’s “Harvest Festival”, Lorna learns that Beth has inherited a vast fortune from her mother, who died when she was young. Stuart approaches Beth and the two share a friendly, but awkward, conversation. An intoxicated Lorna leaves to go on a boat ride with her new friend Roman, a charismatic local, who ends up using her only to kidnap her with the help of two accomplices. A local of the village is seen walking up to Beth and asks her for a dance, which she declines. He responds with I could have helped you. Although Beth doesn’t understand, he walks away and afterward the creepy Hostel’s clerk from earlier approaches and tells her He won’t bother you anymore. Eventually, Beth and Whitney leave the party, meanwhile Axelle volunteers to stay behind and wait for Lorna to get back from her boat ride.

The next morning after waking up, the three girls [Lorna is still not back] decide to head to the spa to relax in the hot springs. Basking in the relaxing atmosphere, Beth is able to fall somewhat at ease [finally!] and dozes off, leaning against the side of the pool. Flash to a now naked and gagged Lorna is seen shackled by her ankles and hanging upside down in a large – and empty – room, where a woman named [but implied] Mrs. Bathory enters, promptly undresses herself, and lies just beneath where Lorna is hanging. She then slowly kills Lorna by slashing her several times with a long scythe and bathing in her blood, then ending it by slitting her throat with a sickle!

Back at the spa, Beth finally awakens, only to find herself alone. [and her belongings stolen] As she looks for her friends, she notices two or three men approaching her. Fearing for her life, she climbs over the walls of the spa enclosure. Making her escape, she is ambushed by The Bubblegum Gang, the same gang of violent street children that appeared in Hostel. [so many throwbacks to the first film, I love it!] Before they are able to attack her though, Axelle and Sasha casually appear and ward them off. Axelle escorts a flustered but now relieved Beth to the vehicle they drove over in. With Axelle and Beth now off screen, Sasha confronts the children.. He comes off as extremely angered, since they “got in the way” of his “business operations.” Wait, what? As punishment, and to warn against future “interruptions”, Sasha draws out his gun and has one of the children brought forward before him. Sasha then puts a silencer on the handgun and kills the kid. Naturally, the rest of the gang runs! After arriving at Sasha‘s mansion, Beth slowly comes to realize that Sasha and Axelle are the ones responsible for her friends’ disappearances. This became obvious after noticing the men who tried to kidnap her at the spa coming up the stairs of Sasha‘s home. Like anyone in a situation like this, she tries to hide only to discover a room filled with severed heads [including Paxton‘s] only to be captured and taken to the factory.

Overall, the movie is fun. Especially if you’re a fan of Eli Roth. It’s much more than the first movie in terms of story, especially as we learn more and more about the Elite Hunting Club. There’s plenty of gore for the gorehounds [bloodhounds?] and the story is enough to keep you interested. In my opinion though, the ending of the movie is probably one of the best parts of it. I know this review has been really long, but bear with me for this last part. If it’s not already obvious, this is going to spoil the movie’s end:

Beth offers to buy her freedom with part of her large inheritance, except Sasha explains to her that she must kill somebody to leave, Beth [without a second thought] cuts off Stuart‘s balls and tosses them to one of the guard dogs; in that moment, Beth then orders Stuart to be left to bleed to death as he screams in pain. As per the standard Elite Hunting contract, Beth is given an Elite Hunting tattoo and is made an honorary member. Beth is told she is allowed to leave, but she is sternly ordered to keep silent about the organization for the rest of her life. In the final sequence, Axelle is lured from the village festival into the woods by The Bubblegum Gang, where the revenge-seeking Beth surprises and beheads her for leading her friends to their deaths. The film then ends on a shot of Axelle‘s decapitated body with The Bubblegum Gang dancing in the background and playing soccer with Axelle‘s severed head..

In summation, I really enjoyed Hostel: Part II [if you couldn’t already tell] – if not more so than Hostel. It’s gory, it’s violent, and it’s more than shock/torture porn. Sure, it has faults; but what movie these days doesn’t? Eli Roth created a world that makes viewers scared to leave the comfort of their own homes, because sometimes, the real monster is the guy [or girl] next door.

Then I turn to you. Have I convinced you to check out Hostel: Part II? If you already have seen it, what did you think about it? Worthwhile? Or completely a waste of time? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, even if I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #03! STAY TUNED!

POP! goes the..head?

THANKS FOR READING.

Being as it’s October now, and the days are getting colder as they go along, I figured we should talk about the impending snow fall that is going to eventually be headed our way. I know, I know; it’s something that people hate but – at least for us in North America – it’s usually only a once a year kind of season. However, snow isn’t all bad, it gives us the chance to do things we wouldn’t do otherwise. Things like: snowboarding, snowmobiling, skiing, and best of all – sit around a fireplace at the local cottage.

This is where today’s movie[s] comes in: It follows a group of medical students: Martin, Roy and Erlend who travel with their friend Vegard to meet with their girlfriends: Hanna, Liv and Chris; to spend Easter vacation in an isolated cabin in the wilderness in Øksfjord. It’s not a deserted cabin though, like most movies; this one belongs to Vegard‘s girlfriend Sara, who recently went missing. Today’s movie [and it’s sequel] comes all the way from Norway and is none other than Dead Snow and Dead Snow 2. Being as this is technically two reviews in one, I’ll try and tie them together, making this review slightly longer than usual.

Starting with Dead Snow, the movie opens with a unnamed woman being chased through the snowy hills of Norway. By the the time she finally stops running, she finds herself cornered and eaten by zombies in World War II German uniforms.. I mean, jeez, this movie does not wait around – it gets right into it!

The movie then cuts to seven medical students on who are all on Easter vacation. [as I mentioned above!] The group arrive at a small cabin near Øksfjord, which they explain is about a 45-minute walk from the road where they have left their cars. [well, there’s movie trope/mistake number one!] The cabin they plan to stay at is owned by Sara, a friend of the other seven students who is Vegard‘s girlfriend – who we find out is one of the group’s members with the most knowledge of the wilderness. However, Sara has been skiing across the mountains to find her way to the rest of the friends, but hasn’t arrived yet.. well – dammit.

Like typical students, the group start to drink [and party] until a mysterious man arrives at their door. He explains to them the dark history of the land they’re ‘relaxing’ at; according to this man, during World War II, a force of “Einsatzgruppen” led by the dreaded Standartenführer Herzog occupied and claimed the area. During three long years, the Nazis abused and tortured the local people, and near the end of the war, with Germany’s defeat coming close, Herzog‘s men looted all their valuables, before ultimately leaving the region. The citizens managed to start an uprising to ambush the Nazis, and actually defeated a lot of them, not all, but a lot. The surviving Nazis, including Herzog, were all chased into the mountains. Being as they never returned, it was assumed by locals that they all froze to death. According to the stranger, the area still has an evil reputation by people, and after leaving that story in the minds of our main cast, he leaves. Naturally though, the mysterious man is soon murdered by zombies while camping in the snow.

The next morning Sara has still not arrived and Vegard takes the group’s snowmobile to look for her. He finds the body of the hiker in his tent, only to fall through snow into a small cave below. Back at the cabin, the other students find an old wooden box filled with valuables such as jewels and coins hidden under the floorboards of the cabin. They consider taking and selling it, but eventually put it back, although some of them keep items. Soon enough, we see Erlend get killed as well – in the best way possible: to summarize, through out the movie, Erlend is seen wearing a Dead Alive shirt, and his death sequence is a direct copy of the first death scene in the movie Dead Alive! Check it out!

This film is filled with blood, guts, and it’s extremely over the top. Making this movie more comedy than horror. It has a lot of call backs to other horror films including Evil Dead 2, [I mean, Martin cuts his entire arm off – with a chainsaw – sound familiar?!] and Dead Alive – as I mentioned above. This is not a bad thing though, it’s actually a lot of fun to watch: and a good choice if you’re trying to introduce someone to horror! But this movie also ends on a cliff-hanger with Martin finally realizing that the zombies are after their stolen loot and not out to kill. [unless they have to] Martin finally gives the box of gold back to Herzog and runs for the cars. However, when he reaches his car, a single coin falls out of Martin‘s pocket. Cursing everything, he looks around..only to see Herzog smashing the car window. AND THAT’S WHEN DEAD SNOW 2 COMES INTO PLAY! But first, let’s quickly check out the trailer for the first Dead Snow film:

Now, onto Part 2! Remember how I said Martin removes his entire arm with a chainsaw? Remember how I said Herzog comes smashing into the car window? Dead Snow 2 starts directly from that point [imagine the credits of the first movie didn’t exist!]  At the beginning of this sequel, Herzog is still holding on to Martin‘s car as he tries to escape. An oncoming truck slices off then Herzog‘s arm, which remains in the car with Martin, though he doesn’t think anything of it.. Until Martin is caught in an accident! He wakes in a hospital, and the police [like any sane person] don’t believe his stories about zombies and try to charge him with the murder of his friends. Also, Martin finds that one of the surgeon’s has [mistakenly] attached Herzog‘s arm to his stump..well, dammit. As we probably all expected the zombie arm goes berserk and attacks everyone within it’s reach. After Martin kills several people against his will, he is sedated and strapped tightly to the bed.

We then see Bobby, a kid American tourist, who sneaks into Martin‘s room when he hears rumors of a zombie attack. Impressed with Martin‘s zombie arm, [rather than, I don’t know, be scared?] Bobby frees Martin and tells him about “The Zombie Squad“, who; as Bobby claims are American professional zombie hunters. Before Bobby can contact them though, [wait hold on..how did this kid get their number? It’s not like they have a website…do they?] Martin‘s new zombie arm throws Bobby out the hospital window! Panicked, Martin follow to where Bobby would have landed and gives the kid CPR. The zombie arm instead crushes Bobby‘s chest, killing the kid instantly. [I mean, what the fuck?! Child-killing? Blasphemy!] Martin escapes the police, who believe him to be a child killer, [well – he technically is a child killer – even if not on purpose] and decides to use the kid’s phone to talk with The Zombie Squad, who promise to come to Norway and help with his “zombie problem”. In the meantime, they ask Martin to find out what Herzog wants, because they believe it will help stop the madness. Naturally though, we learn that The Zombie Squad is actually three nerdy friends: Daniel, Monica, and Blake.

At a World War II museum in the town – which feels very convenient –  Martin meets one of the greatest character in this film: Glenn. After using the zombie arm to intimidate him, Glenn tells Martin about Herzog‘s history: according to Glenn, Herzog was originally tasked by Hitler himself to wipe out an entire Norwegian town for their anti-Nazi sabotage. Martin quickly concludes that Herzog intends to carry out his orders, but before long, Herzog and his zombies attack a group of tourists who happen to be just outside the museum. After the battle against them, Herzog goes crazy and resurrects more of the dead and takes a World War II-era tank. In order to survive, Martin and Glenn [somehow] escape by pretending to be mannequins in the museum. While looking at the carnage, Martin accidentally discovers that his zombie arm can also raise the dead. When Daniel [and the other two members of The Zombie Squad] arrives, he kills Martin‘s new sidekick zombie; but Martin demonstrates his newfound power by raising it again! [see picture above]

Martin, Daniel, and the unnamed sidekick zombie  work together and find a graveyard where Russian POWs were buried, while Monica, Blake, and Glenn all work to slow down Herzog. In an effort to help out, Monica and Blake convince Glenn to act as bait to draw some of the zombies into a local swamp, where they will kill them with grenades found in the museum. After shooting at them with the tank gun several times, albeit, missing them; Herzog continues on his way. Meanwhile, the others discover the graveyard they read about at the museum, and Martin goes all out and raises an entire troop of Russian zombies. Then, the final battle comes.

The battle is seemingly going well at first, but the Nazi zombies eventually overpower Martin‘s Russian zombies. As the Nazi zombies close in on them, Daniel tells Martin to kill Herzog, once and for all. As Daniel attempts to take control of the Nazi zombie’s tank, Martin directly faces Herzog, telling him that he’s lost, and he should surrender [though, I figure Martin plans on killing him either way] Monica and Blake are about to be overwhelmed in the background though when suddenly Daniel fires the tank gun directly at Herzog while Martin keeps him distracted.. In what feels like 100 years, [or in this case: two movies] Herzog is decapitated, which leave his troops falling lifelessly to the ground, thus saving Monica and Blake. After they celebrate, Martin drives to the church where Hanna – Martin‘s girlfriend from the first movie – is buried, digs up her corpse, and brings her back. [as a zombie] The two proceed to kiss and have sex as the sidekick zombie looks on in the distance. what. the. fuck. Also, for those of you holding out for a third Dead Snow film, we get a post-credits scene! In said scene, we see a Nazi scientist-like zombie holding Herzog‘s “live” head! As I said, these movies are ridiculously gory/bloody. But surprisingly, not scary at all – just violent. They are cheesy, they both have fantastic writing, and I totally recommend watching both – in order. If you were to watch the first film, and then quickly throw in the second without watching the credits, you’d have a full length feature. They are foreign films though, so be warned of the subtitles – if you can handle them, be sure to watch Dead Snow and Dead Snow 2: Red VS Dead.  [Also, here’s the trailer for the second movie!!]

Now I look to you: are you planning on watching these films? Or have you already seen them? If you have, what did you think? silly, gory, zombie fun? Or are you more of a fan of scary zombies? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, even if I have the first few film reviews planned already, please let me know which movie[s] you want to see reviewed next! If you found yourself to enjoy review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #04! STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

Imagine the following: you’re locked inside a mall with three friends. You’re the only ones inside; no annoying families with their kids, no other people whatsoever. How would you react? That’s what Stephen, Francine, Roger and Peter find out in today’s movie review of yet another sequel during my weirdo’ween reviews: Dawn Of The Dead from 1978. I’m actually a huge fan of this movie [I have a shirt with the movie’s poster on it!] as I feel like it’s one of the defining zombie films of all time. It’s violent, it’s an interesting concept, and it’s a cult film; for all the right reasons. So the real question is: will you [and your friends] survive the oncoming zombie apocalypse? Let’s find out!

For those that aren’t as into horror like the rest of us, [or maybe you just haven’t seen the films?] Dawn Of The Dead is actually a sequel to the black and white film Night Of The Living Dead, which a lot of people call “the original zombie film.” Dawn takes place some time after Night; when the dead had started to rise and attack the living. Naturally, this means civilization has already started to crumble. Dawn takes place in the city of Philadelphia, where TV station workers Stephen and Francine decide to run, considering the situation is starting to worsen and, after meeting two others: Roger and Peter – two special policemen who were ordered to move any people into rescue stations who have also choose to run – decide their best course of action is to steal the TV station’s helicopter and go west in an attempt to find somewhere safe to hide out.. Eventually, they come across a deserted mega-mall in Monroeville, which is just outside Pittsburgh, and agree [as a group] to wait inside until the crisis is over; that’s assuming it does end.

This movie is fun; I mean a lot of fun. Dawn Of The Dead is the work of George A Romero when he’s truly on top of his game. Given almost total control of the movie, his unique and vivid view of a world in absolute turmoil is absolutely scary to realize that it’s something that’s totally possible.

The interesting thing about Dawn is that it’s not just a zombie flick, it’s almost a warning about the fragile structure of society as a whole, and how easily it can be broken down..granted, by zombies; but still! Like most horror movies these days, many people criticize the film for being “too over the top” and said the quality of the acting isn’t that great.. But to be honest, this is a positive! Consider that Romero uses glaring – even harsh – sets and visual effects. Add this to the dialogue the film’s “heroes” use and you have a movie that tries to pull us into a false sense of security. Only to have the hypothetical carpet pulled from under our feet, showing us that we aren’t safe; and that this situation is going to have us all dead by the end of the day. [get it? cause “Day Of The Dead” is the next film in the “Of The Dead” series? ..come on, that was funny, right?]

The one thing I’ve always loved about this movie is the setting: The Mall. I mean, with only four survivors, they have the entire mall at their disposal for weapons: either a baseball bat from the sports shop, a gun or two from the hunting depot; the possibilities are endless! [Fun Fact: The video game Dead Rising got it’s concept from this movie!] Usually, when things go to hell, people like to buy them stuff they don’t need in order to feel better. Chances are, during a zombie apocalypse, we’d probably still do exactly the same [it’d just be called “looting”] and that’s why the shopping spree scene in this movie works so well. It’s like Romero knows that that we’d all love to be let loose in an entire shopping mall with anything up for the taking, and pokes fun at us in the process.. Showing that even with the dead returning to life and eating all of our friends, we’d still probably want that big screen TV.

Dawn Of The Dead is undoubtedly one of the most important films ever made. It inspired a crazy amount of cheap ripoff’s that are still being made today and it stands proudly on many horror fan’s list of favorite films. It even got itself a remake [by the same name] and, surprisingly, it turned out to be alright. [not great, but not bad by any means] Though, it’s always going to be the original that’s best; and this film is, even if it’s a little dated, a masterpiece.

Now I look to you: if you’re reading this, surely you’ve seen this film! It’s a staple in horror, making it one of [if not the] the most important films I’m going to review this Halloween season! If you’ve seen it, what are your thoughts? Let me know in a comment or two! If you haven’t seen it, do it! It’s well deserving of it’s love, for it’s story and it’s violence! Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #05! STAY TUNED!

boom! headshot!

THANKS FOR READING.

If you’ve been following warrenisweird for a while now, you’d know that I receive special screener copies of movies in the mail before their widespread release date. They’re usually foreign films that I’ll get an email about first but a couple days ago, I received one that I hadn’t heard of. [all the way from Argentina!] It had a evil looking kids on the cover, and had the title Children Of The Night yet everywhere I looked online, it was under as the title Limbo. Either way, with a name like Children Of The Night, I took it to obviously mean that vampires would be somehow involved – and were they ever! If you follow me on Twitter, I also used “#livetweet” last night as I sent tweets as I was watching the film – as a way to give my thoughts as the movie went along [if you want this to become a “thing”, let me know!] and by the movie’s end; I quite enjoyed it. So let’s talk about these Children, [Of The Night] assuming they really are kids..

The story follows a secluded colony of child-like vampires who are being hunted by vengeful villagers. We meet Alice, a journalist, who decides to visit a secluded Orphanage she’s heard about where the children suffer from an unknown skin disease. According to Erda, a religious ex-nurse whose destiny in life is to find these ‘lost souls’ and raise them in her Orphanage, – which is called Limbo – this disease makes the children sensitive to the sun’s light, making them almost nocturnal; the kids only come out at night, and for some reason – they act fairly mature for their age. Oh, and you gotta give them points, cause this disease that the “kids” have is called “Translyvirus.” [if that doesn’t scream the word ‘vampire’, I don’t know what does..] 

Eventually, Alice learns [like us, the viewer, already knows] that they are in fact not children, but vampires aging anywhere from 4 to 120 years old, who have been bitten at an early age and forever remain in that physical state. [because, as we’re told, “young blood tastes better”] Through religious teachings, nocturnal rituals and the occasional visit to local towns for fresh human blood, Erda keeps them safe – at least, until a group of men from a nearby village plot to destroy the refuge. Now the children, headed by none other than the 90-year-old grandson of Count Dracula, must defend their way of life, or accept their defeat; in death!

Quite literally, because not even half an hour into the film and already one of these “vampire kids” is killed.

What’s great about Children Of The Night is that even if these “kids” are really “adults in kids bodies”, we see them act like kids, at least during the darkest parts of the evening. We see some kids sitting under a tree reading [although that kid admits to being over 80!] and another fixing a bicycle wheel! It’s really appealing to see that they’re still in some shape.. human.There’s also a subplot about how Alice, the journalist who’s been interviewing these vampires, [who seem very open to talking about it for some reason] knew Seigfried, one of the vampires when she was a kid, but didn’t recognize him until he explained that he had been protecting her for a very long time. He’s also a fairly young vampire; being only 33 [just like Alice!] and that he’s been in love with her ever since they were kids. It’s weird, and almost uncomfortable, to watch a child actor tell a grown woman that she has “great breasts”.. but it’s okay, because the character is actually 33…right? Either way, you’re here for the vampires; like the blood and the biting, and stuff..

[left to right: Seigfried and Alice. remember, they’re technically lovers..]

It’s only just before when the group of men come to attack, that things really take off in a bloody, messy way. About three-quarters into the movie, Erda allows the vampires to go to the nearby village to feed before they start hunting the men who plan on destroying the Orphanage. Sounds legit, until you realize that this movie isn’t the standard vampire flick!

Before they ‘head out’, [so to speak] the vampires all gather in the basement of Limbo..for a drink? The scene is actually really good, showing kids aerating the blood [like wine] and talking about it’s different scents. One vampire even offers another some ‘wine’ from an 80 year old nun, which he turns down because it’s too bitter. Then, the final showdown with the group of men happens.

Being as it’s a full out fight between just under 10 men versus [around] 20 vampires, it goes just as you’d expect it to..except with techno music, and kids. It’s bloody, it’s gory, and it’s actually really well executed. If vampire children wasn’t enough to keep you satisfied, there’s a scene where the two 80 year old vampire kids actually pull the intestines out of one of the men, and play jump rope with them.. it’s oddly satisfying. I tried to find a clip of it, because it’s arguably my new favorite thing, but to no avail.

y’know, for the Grandson of Dracula, he definitely has the look working for him..

I won’t say that Children Of The Night is a perfect film; it’s subplot with Seigfried and Alice was a little strange for my liking, [and in case you’re wondering; he does change her into a vampire by the end of the film. Thus, making them “together forever”..] and on my screener copy; the subtitles were a bit off with some words not fully in English. [almost like a half English, half Spanish hybrid] However, by the end of the credits, I can honestly say that I found so much more positive than negative within the film. There was many moments where I found myself smiling because the film found ways to make the vampires different and likable. I had a huge grin on my face during some of the more obscure scenes too; mainly the scene with the intestines being used as jump rope and another where one kid gets her finger half bitten off, only to be met with hearty laughter from Erda, who states: “it’ll be better by morning!“

Hopefully, this review helps people understand that Children Of The Night was a surreal experience that I wholeheartedly enjoyed. [to say in the least] It had humor, as well as the vampire scare factor; which made the film an entertaining watch. Be sure to catch the movie when it’s released on Blu-ray and DVD on October 26th, 2015! what are your thoughts on a movie about vampire children? Nothing new? Or something that should be explored more? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I post weirdo’ween #06! STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

If there’s one thing I learned in Psychology class, it’s that one of the most important and yet least understood areas of our lives concerns the role of friends, and ultimately, love; in our lives. Friends are what people believe keep them socially “alive”. Without them, people get lonely and want someone to talk to, and do things with. Usually, people have a natural instinct to try and be social, which makes them to want to meet someone and become close with them.

and then there’s May..

The movie for today’s edition of weird’oween, we follow a young – yet eccentric – woman named May, who has been traumatized by a difficult childhood, which leads into her increasingly desperate attempts to connect with the people around her. Stephanie and I watched this movie last night [first time she’s ever seen it, even if I’ve seen it a dozen times!] and our living room was filled with comments like “she’s so fucking weird!” and “what is she doing?!” [usually coming from Stephanie] But I digress. I like to believe May was just misunderstood, who was brought up to believe that people are meant to be perfect. [thanks, Mom!] But as we learn, people aren’t perfect – only parts of them are..

Like I said, May is weird; like, really weird. It all started when May was a child: a lonely girl with a lazy eye and without any friends. except a weird and ugly doll kept in a glass case given by her seemingly perfectionist mother on her birthday when she was only a kid. Naturally because of this, May becomes a lonely young woman, working in an animal hospital, assisting the Veterinarian in surgeries and sewing operated animals most of the time. If that’s not enough, her lesbian co-worker Polly has a sort of attraction for her.. It’s only when the shy May meets mechanic Adam Stubbs, she almost immediately “loves his hands” and develops a crush on him. They date, if only for a little bit, but the strange and bizarre behavior of May makes Adam push away. Alone and scared, May has a [very] brief affair with Polly, but she feels rejected [again] when her colleague meets a typical looking blonde named Ambrosia, someone who Polly swears is just “a thing she has to hit up”. When her precious doll is accidentally broken free of it’s glass cage, the deranged May comes to the conclusion that she has no choice but to build a friend – using the best parts that only the people she’s become so estranged to can offer her!

Although the reviews I write on here are [generally] strictly horror, May is different than that. Sure, it’s labelled as a horror film, but is it really? At first, it’s a romance, but then again; maybe it’s a thriller. Sometimes, it has comedic elements, so making it feel like it’s some kind of comedy, but light-hearted jokes or is there a darker undertone? The truth is, May doesn’t aspire to fit into one label, it lives in a world that’s beyond them and that’s just what makes a film like this work so well.

The other interesting thing about the movie is that, the Director, Lucky McKee makes it look easy.. He has crafted a fascinating look into the eyes of a crazy person, by doing something that sounds like it should be difficult: allowing us to see that small part of ourselves that is hidden within May. Let’s be honest for a second, we’ve all at one time or another been treated like complete trash, whether it’s being made fun of, being laughed at, and maybe some of us have gone over the deep end. McKee makes us, as viewers, feel pity for May even if we really shouldn’t have. [Did I mention that this is his first feature film?] She’s weird, she’s prone to violent tendencies, but yet – we feel bad when Adam tells her that they can’t be together.. that it “isn’t right.” May is a powerful movie, and easily one of the best horror films I’ve seen, but by the films end; it’s also fairly depressing: the only way May can find a friend is by killing those around her, to “create” her own version of a person. It’s the kind of movie that makes you realize how painfully alone people can actually be, and you know what? I like that fact. I like it a lot. It shows us that even the most deranged of person can have feelings too; even if they doesn’t know how to show them.

To put it simply, this is a film that starts out a little slow; but May, both as a movie and a character, will manage to get under your skin and leave a little cold shiver behind. If only to remind you that, sometimes, it’s hard to trust a girl with a doll collection and a history of being awkward. If there’s anything to take from this movie, remember what May‘s mother told her:

“if you can’t find a friend; make one!”

Even if May is from 2002, [making this movie over 13 years old!] this film is easily one of those movies that you either love, or hate. What are your thoughts on the movie? Did you enjoy Bettis‘ acting in it? Or was May just too weird for you? Let me know in a comment or two! I for one, love her in this film – and she deserves to be recognized for it! Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #07! STAY TUNED!

[contrary to what it looks like, she didn’t rub her eyes after cutting onions..]

THANKS FOR READING.

There’s really nothing like relaxing at the cottage during summer break with your friends, is there? The cool air and the feeling of being away from society really feels good once in a while. The best, in my opinion, is when you put a CD [or plug your iPod in] on and listen to the music and really take it in.. At least, it’s nice as long as you don’t play an audio book that’s playing a passage from the Book of the Dead! That’s what happens in today’s movie review, where five friends find unspeakable evil lurking in the forest around them. They find a tome bound in skin called the “Necronomicon“, and the taped translation of the text inside. Once they play the tape, the evil is then released. One by one, these teenagers are possessed, [by the book] with only one remaining. It’s up to him to survive the night and battle The Evil Dead.

Like most – if not all – of the movies I review on here, I chose this movie because it falls under the category of “films I enjoy”. It’s a classic Man VS Zombie film, but be warned; it’s an extremely gory film. [almost over the top gory] It was made back in the early 80’s, so what do you expect? Most horror movies from this era were over the top, and that’s what made them so good! What’s interesting is that with horror films that are made now-a-days, Directors don’t seem to care about the material that they are filming, and that is because they don’t write their own stories. [the ones that do are few and far between!] They do someone else’s work. But not The Evil Dead. This was Raimi‘s money maker from the beginning. When this movie was made, he was unknown, with no pressure to make a great film and they did it.. on an incredibly low budget of only $50 000. Meaning, that Raimi could stick to his vision for The Evil Dead, but had to find innovative ways to do it. The small budget didn’t allow a lot of special effects so they had to rely on what they knew. That, was how to create atmosphere using the camera. And this film is one of the absolute best at doing that.

There is one scene in this film, near the very beginning scenes where the cast first arrives at the cabin. We see a long shot of the cabin with very eerie music playing softly, and it increasingly gets louder. This shows the cabin as being menacing, letting you know that there is evil inside that cabin; and that we are in for a hell of a ride – because we’re going inside.

The film also has many shocking scenes which show us that they never planned on holding back anything. An example of this, is the infamous getting raped by trees scene which – at a time – was very unsettling and scary! [The film was banned for awhile because of this!] We also get to see people getting hacked to pieces and a few heads get chopped off, with over the top blood and gore everywhere! This film is all about stylistic fear, and that adds to the creep-factor. This movie probably wouldn’t be as scary if Sam Raimi wasn’t behind the camera. If this film isn’t for you because of the lack of budget , you should check out Evil Dead 2 – from 1987 – it’s the sequel [that isn’t really a sequel] to this film that gives a better story-arc of what’s going on, and more of a budget is given this time around!

But, one of the most terrifying scenes [even if it could be considered a jump-scare] is when all the characters are inside the cabin, and they know something isn’t right, and one of the girls is standing beside the window while the other 2 girls are playing cards trying to guess each others cards and the girl standing by the window guesses all the cards correctly, turns around and we find out she’s a zombie [Deadite?] and immediately starts attacking everyone! The first time I watched this, I was genuinely shocked – I wasn’t ready for that! I don’t think anyone was!

In short, the atmosphere and noticeably cheap effects may turn-off your typical horror film fanatics, but anyone that has a sense of adventure and has high tolerance for [over the top] gore will be reasonably pleased – if not greatly impressed – by Raimi and Campbell‘s first effort at a horror film. It’s one of, if not my favorite in the zombie genre, not only for it’s repeated viewings but also for the film’s extra features. [how else would you find out that the white contacts that the Deadites wear were actually blinding the actors? Making it impossible to see!]

So now the question remains: do you fall under the category of enjoying the low budget splatter fest film that is The Evil Dead? What is it about over the top gore that makes it so appealing? Let me know in a comment or two below! Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #08! STAY TUNED!

as someone with a fear of clowns, those makeup effects are terrifying!

THANKS FOR READING.

Everyone wants a pet. Some like dogs, others like the easy job of watching over a cat, and others – like a certain friend of mine – prefers reptiles! [like snakes, and lizards, and stuff] But then you get Billy Peltzer: a young man who works at a bank and lives at home. He has a dog, and was living a completely normal life..until Christmas.What Billy receives is something called a Mogwai. That’s right, everyone; today we are talking about not one, but two films that I used to watch so much, I was convinced I was going to own a Mogwai for myself! Except I didn’t; and that still bugs me to this day.. I mean, I even did my first Friday Fun Fact on the first movie! That should show my dedication! [check it out here!]

Everybody, and I mean everybody, has at least heard of the movie Gremlins: it’s a cute story about a cuddly looking Mogwai named Gizmo who has a specific set of rules attached to him: [1] no bright lights, [2] don’t get him wet, and [3] never feed him after midnight, no matter how much he begs! These rules were set in place for the reasons: bright light physically hurts him, and sunlight can kill him. If he gets wet, he pops out more versions of himself! But most importantly, if fed after midnight, a Mogwai will spin into a cocoon and undergo metamorphosis; turning him into an evil, trouble-making gremlin, causing all sorts of trouble!

The story is a fairly simple one to follow, with it’s somewhat typical monster movie plot. An ordinary guy watches as his unusual but cute pet spawns a horde of evil Gremlins. When he tries to warn the authorities, they don’t believe him until the creatures show up and go on a rampage throughout the town. [sound familiar?] Like in most monster movies, people make a plan to destroy them, which works, mostly; but then that one left which needs to be defeated to consider the evil “finished”. I mean EVERY monster movie convention in the book is used, including all the famous shocks like something jumping out in the foreground and something jumping out in the background, but what makes Gremlins special is the “monsters”  have their own personalities. They don’t eat people or kill them in order to survive.. They just want to have fun and cause chaos! [Gremlins Just Wanna Have Fun, anyone?]

And then there’s the sequel, titled Gremlins 2: The New Batch, which takes place only a few years after the events in Gremlins. In this sequel, Billy has moved to New York where he now works for a man by the name of Daniel Clamp. a certain someone gets hit with water, and ends up creating a new Gremlin species! Thankfully, unlike the first film, Gizmo finally learns to fight back after the first movie. [if you remember, Gizmo spent most of his time hiding] While the surviving humans fight the gremlins back, the Gremlins and their leader, The Brain Gremlin, are planning to escape when nightfall comes.

Unlike the first Gremlins film, which had a horror undertone to it, this film doesn’t feel scary at all: going full out comedy. Because of this, it’s often looked at as not only the lesser of the two Gremlins flicks but also, not a good movie in general. I just don’t understand why though, I grew up loving this movie! It successfully continues the underlying theme of the original [unlike a lot of sequels which seem to forget their points entirely] and the Gremlins all have their own personalities, which helps us distinguish which ones feel evil, and which ones are evil. The New Batch follows the Gremlins while they’re loose in a totally automated high-rise office building, which is already suffering from its own malfunctions. Naturally, this serves as the perfect “playground” for them. So be sure to check out Gremlins and even Gremlins 2, but chances are – especially if you’re a movie fan – you already have! If you haven’t, then get on that as soon as possible! They’re cheesy, they’re funny, and Mogwai are some of the cutest creatures on the planet.. as long as you follow the rules!

[DID I MENTION SIR CHRISTOPHER LEE APPEARS IN GREMLINS 2?!] So there you have it: not one, but two films that I used to watch so much, I probably broke the family TV.. Also, if you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you want to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #09! STAY TUNED!

[…I still want a Mogwai. Just saying!]

THANKS FOR READING.

As most, if not all, of you know, I have an indefinite fear of clowns. They’re creepy, their makeup is just too much for me, and their laugh is just…not something I plan on listening to on repeat. However, another thing I feel I have a fear of [but not nearly as bad] is dolls; specifically, ventriloquist dolls. I mean, I love the Goosebumps books, but it took me a long time to finish Night Of The Living Dummy for this reason. However, this isn’t a book review, I’m that guy who reviews movies.

Today we’re talking about a movie, involving dolls, that I actually hadn’t seen until Stephanie and I got together, [over six years ago!] which is actually surprising, since it’s by James Wan and Leigh Whannell. [of Saw fame] The film’s story follows a ventriloquist, named Mary Shaw. After she went supposedly went mad in the 40s, she was accused of kidnapping a young boy who yelled out in one of her shows that she was a fraud. If you haven’t caught on yet, today’s movie choice is none other..than Dead Silence.

As with every town involving a ghost story with a local tale, a lonely town named Ravens Fair has their own version of a story about Mary Shaw. Because of the aforementioned kidnapping, she was hunted down by townspeople who – in an act of revenge – chose that the most ironic way to kill her: cut out her tongue! [and then proceed to murder her] After killing her, they decided to bury her along with her “children,” which were her handmade collection of dolls, therefore, silencing her..forever. However, Ravens Fair has been plagued by a group of mysterious deaths after Shaw‘s “collection” has returned from their “graves”. Far from the reaches of the cursed hometown, a couple: Jamie and Lisa Ashen thought they planned their perfect fresh start, at least until Jamie‘s wife is grotesquely killed in their apartment.. Naturally, this means that Jamie has to return to Ravens Fair for her funeral, but is now insisting on unraveling the mystery of Lisa‘s death.This is the majority of what we see in film. The film itself is creepy, eerie and very atmospheric; with probably my favorite aspect being the “silence” scenes – which were signaled by the film’s audio track going completely bare. As expected, this symbolized, and told us about the presence of evil, and that something was just about to happen!

Dead Silence also has plenty of horror elements to provide the scares: it has folk tales, singing children, antique looking furniture, voice recordings fading out, flickering lights, dead loved ones calling from beyond the grave, photographs of dead families; including dead children, cackling evil old women, wide-eyed dolls, plenty of thunder and lightning to keep you on your toes, open caskets, wet crawlspaces, and a ever-pervading sense of evil around every corner. Also, dolls. [specifically one scene] a lot of dolls. Which brings me to my next point:

Dolls, and the idea of ventriloquism, are the main themes of the plot. Since they are the core base for the story-line, they can actually come off as being scary. [I mean, just look at Billy above!] I’ll be the first to say that if you, or someone you’re showing this movie to who have a fear of dolls, they should probably avoid this film. [Especially if they don’t like clowns either, because there’s a clown-like doll!] Also, the film boasts some great sets as well. The entire town of Ravens Fair has a heavily Gothic tone to it, almost to the point of making it feel like a dream. [I absolutely love this setting] The sets as a whole are spooky, which they should be, because it really adds to the movie. Even ventriloquist Mary Shaw, was actually quite terrifying! [though, at times; this can be accredited to jump scares] Her “undead” look made her into one of the creepier women in recent horror films. As for the gore, there is some but if you’re expecting the Saw like gore – just because it’s the same writer – you’ll be severely disappointed. It doesn’t use typical violence and graphic gore to get some cheap scares out of the audience..which unfortunately what a lot of recent horror films have been trying to do lately. Then, there’s the ending. Now this, was the way to finish it off. It’s a twist-ending, but don’t let that put you off from watching- it works well with the rest of the movie, it’s not one of those “bad movie twists”. It was very unexpected [I like to believe I’m good at catching onto twists, and even I didn’t catch it!] and very well-written.

So is Dead Silence worth watch? I like to think so, it felt refreshing [especially in a horror world that was becoming obsessed with unnecessary SAW sequels when this movie was released] and original. The dolls were creepy enough, and the atmosphere was enough to keep you engulfed in a world where ventriloquism rules above all else. Even if you could end up dead if you claim it’s fake. It’s unfortunate that it was considered a movie failure because instead of a sequel to Dead Silence, we got Saw IV – which, wasn’t a bad film, just another sequel that progressively got worse as it’s series went on. So yes, I’m confident in saying that you should see Dead Silence: it’s no doubt better than some of the crappy SAW films that came after it – though, that’s not hard to accomplish.

And another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #10! STAY TUNED!

ALSO: because today is Friday, here’s a quick Fun Fact about Dead Silence: during the scene when we see all the dolls in the auditorium, keep an eye open for Billy – the puppet from SAW!

THANKS FOR READING.

Contrary to popular belief, not every vampires you see in the movies are over 1000 years old. Sometimes, they’re younger, say about 12 or 13.. except they’ve been 12 [or 13] for a long time! Wait a minute..this sounds familiar; too familiar in fact. [find out why this sounded so familiar here!] Let’s try this again..

Today, we’re going to talk about Vampires, and no, not those ones that involve shining in the sunlight, or living in the middle of the woods with their entire [adopted] families. I’m talking ones that need to drink blood to survive, and drift from place to place, before being discovered. But this can be tricky, because we are also talking about younger vampires in a foreign country. [this is starting to sound familiar too] Today’s movie came out in 2008 and already got itself a remake – which was surprisingly half-decent. Surely, if you’re a fan of the genre, you’ve already caught on to what movie were talking about today..or you flat out cheated, and read this post’s title! Either way, let’s not just watch just any vampire film that comes into our homes, let’s be sure we actually Let The Right One In. Also, this is weirdo’ween review #10 today, so that’s a thing worth celebrating too! [only 21 to go!]

Based on the book of the same name, Let The Right One In is what I’d call a unique take on the typical vampire film. It’s technically a horror film, but it’s hard to class it as only that; it includes romantic elements, but also horror, kisses and love, but also blood and death. It has some brutal death scenes, but we never linger on it – it’s like the movie is trying to explain that it’s a necessity, but not the only thing we’re meant to be concerned with. It’s as if the vampire, is more human than the rest of us; that she just wants to be loved, and cared for. It could even be classified as a human movie, starring a vampire! But there is one thing we have to address..

In the film, Håkan [Eli‘s guardian/old lover]  butchers boys not much older than Oskar as a blood source for Eli. In this story, the storytelling is the most important theme to the point where we’re mostly meant to assume things, while some things are hinted and suggested at. There’s some questions that come up that are never answered. Why does Håkan pick these younger victims? Are they are Eli‘s preference? Then what does that say about Eli‘s sudden interest in Oskar? What is Eli‘s true nature? She tells us early on that she’s been twelve “for a very long time”, but we briefly glimpse her true physical age, which shows us that she is in fact, middle age; roughly the same age as Håkan. What about her gift to Oskar in the films last moments? Eli decides to go through with the brutal slaughter of his child tormentors. Entranced in her glamour, this of course, makes Oskar happy, but is this truly a good thing? They go off happily into the sunset, Oskar presumably destined to the soul destroyed shell of a person that Håkan had become, butchering humans to provide Eli with food for the rest of his life. People often talk about how the “happy ending” is sweet, and almost cute but think about it: it’s almost chilling! Essentially, Oskar has happily swapped the misery of childhood bullying for a fate that will truly be hell on earth and it feels nearly depressing as you know as he happily smiles in the films last shot that he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. Remember, this boy is 12. He’s doing it because he has fallen in love with Eli, but he doesn’t know what her plans are for him. Did/Does she even really care?

Ultimately, Let The Right One In is a very quiet and patient film. It’s main points involve focusing on the progression of friendship between Oskar and Eli first. Unlike what you’d think when you think “vampire”, this is a beautiful and tender story – despite the overthought out process above. Despite its dark undertones, the film never feels sinister. Even during it’s highly enjoyable climax, it retains its heartfelt love.

Both Oskar and Eli are wonderfully drawn characters. Both young actors are emphatically true to their characters, making them all the more sympathetic. Through out the film, Director Thomas Alfredson shoots them in muted tones, as in – from their point of view, instead that of an adult. Reminding us, these are still kids [just in adult situations] He uses very little music, allowing the crunching of snow, the grumbling of their stomachs, the ambient sounds of the world around us instead to frame the action on screen. It’s something that hasn’t been done in this way before, and for that – I love it. The movies were made to tell stories like these. Unfortunately, I have not read the book the film is adapted from, but it certainly would expand on much of what is only hinted at here. But if you’re only going to see the movie, you don’t need any expansion. This is such a wonderful film as it stands today, in its boldness, its darkness, and its touching beauty.

If you like vampires, but you’re also a sucker for love stories, then I implore that you please watch the masterpiece that is Let The Right One In. It’s such an important piece of cinema: it does have subtitles – being a foreign film, but do not let that turn you away. If you manage to get a chance to see it..take it. It’ll trap you in a world where you feel the connection between two seemingly innocent children. If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow when I talk about weirdo’ween #11! STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

writer’s note: I understand this was technically supposed to come out yesterday, but since I had my family had it’s Thanksgiving dinner last night, I had no choice but to wait until now for #11. Tonight, I will be writing up #12, and tomorrow morning will be #13; therefore, everything will be on track again.

Meet Tucker and Dale: two lovable hillbillies from West Virginia. They’re best friends and do everything together. This weekend, they are planning on headin’ to their “fixer-upper” vacation cabin [that Tucker just bought] to drink some beer, do some fishin’, and have an all around good time. Y’know, Hillbilly stuff.. I don’t know much about that lifestyle, but from what I gather; they’re pretty laid back people. But when they run into a group of preppy college kids who assume from their looks that they must be in-bred, chainsaw wielding killers, Tucker & Dale‘s vacation takes a bloody [and hilarious] turn for the worse..and that’s what our movie today is about: the unexpected situations that they fall into – even if all they wanted was a get away from society for a few days! As I shared on Facebook yesterday, today’s  movie review is on none other than Tucker and Dale VS Evil.

As I said, the movie revolves around two hilarious hillbillies: Tucker and Dale, who just want to have a weekend away from society at their “Vacation Home”. Shortly after they arrive, a group of College kids show up at a nearby camp and immediately wrongly assuming Tucker and Dale are psychotic rednecks out to murder them. [you know, because of course they are..] Considering that their property is filled with tools for renovations, such as chainsaws and a wood chipper, it’s not long before the comedy and gruesome carnage start, proving the line it blurs between horror and comedy! Like Shaun Of The Dead and Zombieland did for their respective genres, Tucker and Dale feels like it fits right in, being one of the funniest and surprising movies in recent years! [it was shelved for three years before it’s initial release..why it was, I’ll never know] One thing that makes it so entertaining, from a horror perspective is, the amount of mistakes that result in a lot of gory [and creative] deaths for the dim-witted college kids! I mean, one dives head first into the wood chipper while trying to stab Tucker! [and because he tries to pull the kid out, it looks like he’s pushing him farther in! Yeah, comedy gold, kids!]

But what makes this movie special is the obvious relationship between Tucker and Dale themselves. The two are sweet, helpful, and hopelessly clueless guys who are only involved because of the disaster that the College kids created around them.. One message that certainly comes across loud and clear [yet, subconsciously at the same time] is that appearances can be deceiving and that you shouldn’t judge a proverbial book by the cover.. Because people are still their own individuals and not just the stereotypes they portray. That’s right, Tucker and Dale VS Evil comes with a lesson to be learned!

The movie actually has a lot to say about stereotypes, and not just the ones I mentioned above. But it also mentions how people project onto others those stereotypes, and their own inner “dark sides” come about based on those stereotypes. Being as it’s also a horror film, there is definitely blood and gore involved, but the violence is presented in such a comedic way, you almost laugh when it comes up..it’s not scary in the slightest. I remember the first time I watched it [Netflix!] and thought: this is surprisingly, a really good movie. It’s depressing to think [and realize] that we probably won’t be getting a sequel, but if enough of us protest..maybe? [I really want a sequel, guys..]

So please, check out Tucker and Dale VS Evil; it’s funny, it’s gory,  but most of all – it has heart. It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t recognized as much, but it may be because of the fact that it didn’t get a wide-spread release! [tell everyone about it!] What makes the film so much fun is the stereotyping it picks at, and the hilarious deaths make it all the more worthwhile. Even without a chance at sequel, [though, if one did appear I’d be happy!] it’s a fun film for everyone – even if you aren’t that into horror as a genre.

Another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tonight when I talk about weirdo’ween #12! STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

Can you imagine being trapped in the middle of Antarctica during a blizzard? [that’s like: colder than cold!] Even worse, can you imagine being trapped in Antarctica with your fellow workers in a facility; all while an alien creature has the ability to mimic your best friend, and you don’t know just what’s going on? That’s exactly what happens for Helicopter pilot J.R MacReady, who’s hellbent on finding out just what is going on around him..I mean, what can you do when you’re amongst an alien with the power to transform and take the appearance of anybody else is amongst them. Who is infected already, and who can be trusted? All those questions [and more] will be asked, in this edition of Weirdo’ween‘s movie: John Carpenter‘s The Thing.

The Thing takes place in the Antarctic in 1982, where it mainly focuses on a group of American scientists. We are given no introduction to their mission, but are thrust into their lives when a pair of [seemingly] crazy Norwegians appear out of nowhere at their base camp, chasing an escaped dog. The Norwegians are abruptly killed, and the dog finds its way into scientists’ base, which is when things really start to pick up. It soon becomes quite clear that this “dog” is actually a shape-shifting alien organism, which seems to take it upon itself to take the physical form of its victims! In other words, as it begins to eat the Americans, it also can imitate them so well, that the remaining humans cannot distinguish the difference between their friends and their new found enemies!

The pack of scientists, led by one J. R MacReady, [played brilliantly by Kurt Russell] begin to fight for their own survival, using only their remaining wits.. Of course, many questions start arising: If this Thing is among them, then how are they supposed to go about revealing it? Is there only one? Or how many Things are there? How can this Thing be killed? [Can it even be destroyed at all?]

Thankfully, the creature’s origins in the film are explained easily: Thirty thousand years ago a spacecraft crash landed on Earth, and was encased in the Antarctic ice. While The Thing tried to escape, it was quickly discovered [in the ice] by the Norwegians, who unknowingly accidentally released it from its natural icy prison. What makes this movie so good is it makes you ask questions as you continue watching such as: “How am I supposed to stay alive if any, if not all, of the crew is infected?” The Thing is extremely smart and calculating, forcing each decision the few remaining survivors one step closer to killing off the entire group. It plans for this, it hopes for this: and sadly – things really could have gone from bad to worse really fast. MacReady takes control of the situation with a no-nonsense attitude, but over the course of the film, even he can see the reality of the unfortunate situation; that eventually – this thing might actually come out on top.

But the absolute best thing about this movie [besides everything] is the visual effects. The creature design of The Thing is one of those great design masterpieces that manage to feel so real, it feels almost out of place. Like I said before, we actually get to see an alien life form in the shape of a dog physically attach to a human being and try to steal its form; the same thing also becomes a disembodied head sprout legs and crawl around the research station like a spider! I mean, yes; it’s gross, gut wrenching and certainly disturbing but The Thing itself is unlike any alien you have ever seen in a movie before.. and for that, it deserves all the credit.

Another thing that makes this movie such a great film is that The Thing actually provides little to no answers, leaving us to seek them for ourselves. Naturally, this infuriated many audiences when it was first released.. Viewers wanted closure, answers, and a sense of victory over the “monster.” Instead, Carpenter gave us a look at the state of humanity in 1982, leaving us with more questions than answers: Who won? Who was still human? Did it even matter anymore? How do we know we aren’t already living in a world composed of “things?” In my opinion, this makes the movie better, though at the same time, it also makes the movie feel depressing. Even in the last shot of the film, when Childs and MacReady are seen taking swigs of a bottle of whiskey during a wide shot of the camp in flames fire after “it’s all over”; both men just sit among the burning wreckage.. waiting for the flames to die down the winter weather to ultimately consume them.. it makes us wonder: could either [if not both] of these two men be The Thing? It’s a question that is still being talked about to this day, and the movie is over 30 years old!

If you consider yourself a horror fan, then you have to have seen The Thing by now, and if you haven’t; get on it. Seriously. It’s scary, it’s dark, and it can be fairly depressing; especially when you come to the conclusion that the ending might just not be as happy as you would hope. But it’s a masterpiece in it’s own right. Though, be aware: it’s not strictly horror, since it could also be considered a sci-fi film as well, but it’s just so good; it definitely one of those movies that deserves it’s praise! [even if it was a flop when it first released!]

Another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #13! STAY TUNED! [and with this post now written, we are officially caught up on weirdo’ween movie reviews, yay!]

because I know that you wanted to see the dog ‘transform’ ..

THANKS FOR READING.

We’ve all heard of local legends/ghost stories surrounding our town. Whether it’s Bloody Mary or the Boogyman, there’s always one that stands out amongst the rest. It doesn’t matter what the story is behind the legend, one fact remains the same: the “spirit” of the legend will never die, unless they’re put to rest. Enter our crew of tourists. They decide to go on a boat ride on the haunted waters of the Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend Victor Crowley. According to the stories, Victor is a horribly disfigured man who was tragically and accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when their boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be a real thing, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives…and all of their pieces. That’s right everyone, today we’re talking about Adam Green‘s classic 80s throwback horror slasher: Hatchet. What makes this review so special, is that I’m going to be reviewing it’s sequels: Hatchet II and Hatchet III tomorrow, and Thursday respectively! But today; we’re starting at the very beginning of this trilogy: the way it was meant to be.

Hatchet begins in Louisiana during Mardi Gras with two friends walking around the streets, with another part of the opening already including a cameo from Robert Englund and Tony Todd. [though Englund gets killed off in the first 10 minutes.. talk about a risky move!] These two guys are down for spring break and after deciding they’ve had enough of Mardi Gras, decide the next course of action is to take a haunted swamp ride; headed by Reverend Zombie. This is where we meet the core group of people we will be following for the rest of the film.

As they travel out farther out into the far reaches of the swamp, their guide starts talking about the local legend of a man known as Victor Crowley. Though no one believes him, [at first] the guide starts looking, and acting, like he has absolutely no idea what he is doing.. Which he later admits to, saying it was a way to make a few extra bucks. The boat eventually ends up sinking in the middle of the swamp and the boarders of the boat learn that they are officially in Victor Crowley‘s territory. With no help coming anytime soon, and little [to no] cell phone service, it looks like the only way off the island they landed on is to take the path behind the old Crowley home; where his spirit is rumored to be still living after his father accidentally hit him in the face with a hatchet..

a face only a father could love.

Hatchet is what some would call a blood soaked love letter to the campy horror-slasher films of the ’80s. It pays homage to films like Friday The 13th and Sleepaway Camp, all while catering to the fans who love a good old-fashioned gore fest, with the occasional set of boobs of course. When I first bought this movie, I hadn’t even seen it yet; I bought it blindly because I had heard so many good things! Of course, I was not disappointed. The important thing about the movie is to not take it seriously, not even 10 minutes in, and you can tell that it was definitely not meant to be. It’s a very campy film, but that’s because it’s supposed to be that way. There are also plenty of hilarious in jokes that will get you laughing, further proving the not so serious tone. The film’s set-up is repetitive, the dialogue is corny, and the special effects [while over the top] are great. That’s what makes it fun to watch: it’s fun. You can’t go into this movie expecting some great masterpiece or even a really good horror movie; You’re supposed to go into this movie expecting a campy gore-fest that you can laugh at.. because of how ridiculous it is! and yes – this is a good thing!

From start to finish – all 84 minutes of Hatchet is pure slasher goodness. Rather than being just a stale homage to the franchise films that dominated his childhood, you can tell that Adam Green has actually created an character all his own, that pays loving tribute, rather than references to other horror icons. While Victor Crowley might never reach the heights of Freddy, Jason or Michael, he’s certainly the stuff fan-favorites are made of: a unique monster with an easy to remember name, with some unique kills under his belt! You just can’t go wrong with a horror movie made by a horror movie fan with outrageous effects. It’s the perfect movie to put on during a Friday night, and it’s certainly one of the finest modern slashers to come along in a recent history.

The problem is, a lot of people didn’t like Hatchet.. but forget them! If you like slashers, and over the top gore; you’ll have a blast with this movie. It has a bit of everything for everyone: boobs, gore, funny moments, and cameos galore! Please.. check out Hatchet, you’ll have a great time, and you won’t regret it!

and another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #14 – which, as discussed above, will be Hatchet II! – STAY TUNED!

open wide! [a small example of the over-the-top gore in HATCHET]

THANKS FOR READING.

Today, we return to the swamp in the sequel to yesterday’s movie, Hatchet II.  To no one’s surprise, Kane Hodder and Tony Todd reprise their roles as Crowley and Reverend Zombie, but this time, we get Danielle Harris, who replaces Tamara Feldman as Marybeth. As with many sequels, this one takes place more or less right after the first film ends, and even if we have a “new” Marybeth, Harris works really well as the character – to the point of making us feel how vengeful she really is towards Victor Crowley. If you’re reading this review, hopefully you’ve seen the first Hatchet film, because Hatchet II takes place right after the first film. Down to the very last frame.. HOLD ON TO YOUR PIECES!

Last time we saw her, Marybeth was in Honey Island Swamp with the group of tourists who were all massacred, though Marybeth barely escapes the wrath of Victor Crowley. Her father [and brother] were not so lucky. [they were the fishers, who were killed in the first ten minutes of the first film] We now see that she’s saved by a local swamp scavenger, who proceeds to yell at her after he finds that she is from the Dunston family. He does tell her she should have Reverend Zombie explain everything to her, as that’ll clear some things up.

After she gets a long explanation from Zombie, he explains that he was a friend of her father’s. [who, if you remember, was played by none other than Robert Englund!] As it turns out, it was Marybeth‘s father and his two friends played fire induced prank that ultimately resulted in Victor Crowley‘s death. Together, Marybeth and Reverend Zombie decide to round up a party of local hunters to clear the swamp area in order to recover the bodies of her brother and father, where Zombie offers $500 just for going on the expedition. [y’know..to cover legal costs…and stuff] Who knows? Maybe the expedition might lead to opening the Swamp for legal gator hunting, and therefore; legal swamp tours by Zombie‘s company. Listen carefully though when the group of hunters are talking about their plans for Crowley, one hunter specifically mentions another Local Legend from his town by the name of Leslie Vernon [Behind The Mask references!]

Once the group gets deeper and deeper into the swamp by nightfall, they try to figure out their plan. Naturally, to increase incentives, whoever brings back the head of Victor Crowley, Zombie will give them $5000! Because Zombie has a ‘secret’ plan that he thinks will destroy the curse.

Hatchet II looks and feels much cheaper than the first, but that might be considering the original was shot on 35mm film for $1.5 million, while this one was shot on digital for half that budget. There’s a nice flashback sequence explaining the origins of the killer, and Tony Todd gets to play a leading role this time around and, as per his usual, does a great job holding things together. But if we are to get real here, the target audience isn’t really going to care much about the dialogue, plot, acting or even the production values: they’ve come here for the gore, and this movie delivers on that front. As expected, Adam Green seems to be fond of head and face mutilations in his horror films. We see a face get sliced off, a face chopped to a bloody pulp, a face smashed to a bloody pulp, a face chopped to bits by an boat motor and a head getting sanded down [and then smashed in] with a belt sander. It’s a gory, bloody mess; and I absolutely love it.

Hatchet II is clearly not for the faint-hearted, but then every moment of violence is so over the top that, if treated as the pure horror comedy spectacle it is, it will have audiences clapping and cheering at every lovingly put together death sequence: it’s almost as if the unique deaths of the first Hatchet film got boosted times 1000000! If the gore itself isn’t enough for you, Hatchet II‘s final tally count of fake blood used in the making is a whopping 136 gallons.. This means, that over 81 gallons more was used in this sequel and double the amount used in the making of Hatchet, which reportedly used 55 gallons of fake blood by the film’s end. Unfortunately, like the first film, Hatchet II met with a lot of negative responses, mainly saying that it’s just a ‘gorefest’. I mean, it is: the third act goes into ridiculously over the top slasher gore. But, it’s for good reason. The film goes from one insanely original and creatively grotesque death scene to another. Let’s be honest though, the film does open with a man being strangled until his head bursts by his own intestines.. but we don’t get much more of that until the last third of the film. It’s worth the wait though, because even if the film isn’t very scary or even disturbing at all, it’s so over the top and ridiculous, it comes off as fun! You can tell, like the first film, that Adam Green had a blast making these movies, as they are tributes to the slasher films of the 80s that he grew up with, that aren’t meant to have story telling genius plots, but instead; gratuitous violence…which we’re all here to see anyway, right?

So if you like messy, gory films: check out Hatchet II. It’s by no means a fantastic storytelling film, but it has passion put into it. Like it’s predecessor, Hatchet, you can tell that the people who made them aren’t out for awards, but to have fun. It’s a great movie to watch on an October Friday night while trying to figure out, just how do you kill the infamous Victor Crowley? Like the first film though, it does end kind of abruptly, with Crowley getting shot in the face with a shotgun..multiple times. But is he truly gone..for good? I guess not, because tomorrow I review the epic conclusion to the Hatchet series, Hatchet III!

another thing! If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #15 – which will conclude the trilogy with Hatchet III! – STAY TUNED!

open wide! [I feel like I already made this joke.. my bad]

THANKS FOR READING.

Here we are: our final trip into the swamp to put an end to Victor Crowley – even if we haven’t had much luck the past two films! [if you missed part 1 or part 2, be sure to check them out as well!]

Although this final Hatchet film isn’t Directed by Adam Green, he actually had complete control over the project, plus the new Director; B J McDonnell, was handpicked by Green – and He did a fantastic job! So for today’s weirdo’ween post, we visit Honey Island Swamp one last time, and we’re going to finish Crowley off. for good.

Now the important thing to note about this film is that unlike the other Hatchet films, this one took away a lot of the comedy aspects. Don’t get me wrong, there are in movie jokes, but it’s become a full fledged horror film this time around, and it’s great!

Picking up from where Hatchet II left off, Marybeth Dunston [still played by the wonderful Danielle Harris] blows off the head of Victor Crowley with a shotgun. Repeatedly. She walks away and comes across the bodies of almost everyone from the previous film, when she hears Crowley, deep in the woods. Marybeth starts up a nearby chainsaw, but is grabbed by Victor. [poor girl can’t catch a break!] Marybeth then kicks him, and as he falls backwards onto the chainsaw, he is then cut him straight down the middle of his torso. She grabs a shotgun from one of the dead men nearby, and shoots Victor‘s head, and walks back into the city’s sheriff’s station, carrying only his scalp. Sheesh. What an opening!

Of course, when Marybeth arrives and explains what just happened, no one believes her and they place her in a cell for the murders. After some discussion, and a hearty explanation in full, finally convinces the Deputies, The Sheriff, [played by Zach Galligan] paramedics, [but, why paramedics? are they going to revive a decapitated person?] and an entire SWAT team go to the swamp, only to find countless bodies and body parts. Working as a team, they start dragging body bags onto their boat.

even covered in Crowley blood, I love me some Danielle Harris

Meanwhile, an annoying reporter who has been listening to the police frequency shows up at the station, and demands to speak to Marybeth. As it turns out, this reporter is the ex-wife of the Sheriff and she manages to manipulate one of the deputies into doing whatever she wants. She comes bearing bad news – Crowley can’t be killed. She explains that he will always return because he’s on a mission – and Marybeth is the solution: Being as she’s the last of the Dunston family, Victor needs to be put at rest. The reporter then convinces one of the security guards to let Marybeth out, and the two go on a trip to find Crowley‘s father’s ashes, which will help put him at ease.

Crowley, of course, has resurfaced and is killing any all law enforcement he can find..in the goriest ways possible. Once again, like the other two Hatchet films, the kills are unique; and gorier than the last two films combined! As expected, the Hatchet franchise has been something of a roller-coaster ride, either lots of fun, or enough to satisfy the horror fans. I for one, love these films; all the films run at around a eighty minutes, give or take, and they all feature enough gore and insanity to impress even the hardened of horror fan. With this third installment, Green has reconnected with his footing, which is a great mix of gratuitous gore and stable story telling; and, not to mention, terrific performances by the likes of people we’ve come to know in the horror genre. People like Derek Mears and Sid Haig! [who gives probably the best performance since Rob Zombie‘s The Devil’s Rejects]

So check out Hatchet III, but do so by picking up the Dark Sky‘s Blu-ray version.. This one comes with two different commentaries that are informative not only on this film but on the horror genre in general. It has some excellent behind-the-scenes footage of how Kane‘s makeup is applied and how terrible mosquitoes really are in the Louisiana swamps, where the film was made/filmed. It’s a truly a must-own disc for the Hatchet fans.

And thus ends the Hatchet trilogy review[s]. Which film was your favorite? Was it the original Hatchet film that came out in 2006? or was it the final one, Hatchet III, that ended the series? Let me know in a comment or two! Also, keep an eye open for a cameo from a familiar face from [the first] Hatchet in this finale film! Fans will greatly appreciate! However, with this being the final Hatchet film, the next review [tomorrow’s] will be something completely unrelated to this series; which leads me to my next question:

If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review[s] please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #16! – STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

After reviewing not one but three movies in the Hatchet series, which were over the top [and gory] slasher films, I decided it was time to switch it up and review one of my favorite films of 2014: The Babadook. I’ve actually technically already reviewed it, here, But with it’s hauntingly beautiful cinematography, it’s really good acting, and even it’s ever depressing tone, I was begging this movie to be as good as it was living it up to be, especially after everyone wanted me to see it – and it certainly was.. It was everything I hoped it would be; with it being a foreign film, there were actors that I didn’t recognize – It’s made it something I found myself to really enjoy. This film was atmospheric, it was extremely suspenseful at times- without relying on too many jump scares- and best of all: it felt real. So let’s jump in to a film that really surprised me when it was first released. It’s not so much violent and gory, but rather psychological. So, whether it’s a word, or a look, let’s talk about..

The Babadook follows Amelia, a widow who lost her husband in a car crash on the way to give birth to Samuel – their only child. As seen in the movie, she struggles to cope with her fate as a single mom, especially with Samuel‘s constant fear of monsters and violent response as his way to overcome these fears. Because of this, Amelia has almost no friends, and the friends she does have become distant. Just when you think that things cannot get any worse, Amelia and Samuel read a book they found in Samuel‘s book shelf which spoke about the ‘Babadook‘ monster: who hides in the dark areas of their house. Fears become superstition when even Amelia begins to feel the effect of Babadook and desperately tries to destroy the book. This is the nightmarish experience a mother and son encounter for the rest of movie; or in this case, story.

At first glance, The Babadook may sound like it’s a tale that meant to warn people not let children make creepy stories up into their heads. Although understandable, as a way of coping, it may also seem like it’s one of those old horror movies with children being influenced by a ghost. [kind of like Poltergeist] The monster that’s called The Babadook, comes off as having the potential of being a silly urban legend, such as Slender Man, [I am so tired of Slender Man] that is destined to be flooded with it’s own online stories, or simply just another horror monster, but what makes the film surprisingly effective is that it has a different plan for itself than “just scaring the audience.” More than anything, it may as well be a character study of a mother who is having a hard time moving on after the tragedy she’s been through and trying to raise her only son. It is a slow burner, as the real horror doesn’t come out that quick, when it comes to the characters we’ve already been introduced to.. it’s already built itself up as a study high. The tension you come to feel as the movie progresses is just award for being caught up by the core story line.

it doesn’t help that Samuel is a creepy looking kid.. I blame the Monster in his head

One thing that is important to note is the Babadook himself. When we actually start to see it, we notice it has an almost ridiculous design and his story is told well by a twisted storybook with wonderful illustrations. It almost feels like the movie is trying to explain that he isn’t the point of the film.. that he’s basically Amelia‘s “coping method” of sorts. The pacing of Amelia‘s life may move too fast within the film, but the sadness and deprivation beneath those regular troubling days are noticeable; you can tell that she’s struggling with Samuel, that she still isn’t over the loss of her husband, and that the plot is mostly concerned with Amelia finding a way to overcome Samuel‘s behavioral issues and her memories of accident; rather than dealing with this supernatural threat. What I’m trying to get at, is that even if there’s a “monster” tormenting this family, it still feels more like they’re being tormented by life, and the “monster” is their grievance personified.

This is where I sound like I’m complaining – at least, on behalf of some people. The thing about The Babadook is some horror fans might get disappointed for not giving The Babadook monster enough of the characterization he seemingly deserves. [I’ve heard this complaint a lot] Even if it is a lot more interesting to follow than his tricks and angry monster feelings, that is why I keep claiming that the the movie is best described as a gloomy story about a mother and a son who are desperately fighting to keep a hold of themselves and promise to protect each other from the opposing odds; even if this promise doesn’t always apply, The Babadook is more than just another horror film. While it still has the right amount of admirably campy scares, which I absolutely love, the film often explores to the larger and much affecting side of the story, making it more depressing – rather than terrifying..though it is terrifying in it’s own right.

So like I said in my original review of The Babadook; Unless you count It Follows, which I talked about in great detail over here, It’s been a very long time since I have seen a horror film this effective; especially one from the last year! The Babadook is a film that is more interested in engaging the audience with its characters, relying on it’s subtly and clever imagery to legitimately scare its audience; rather than go cheap, and use ineffective jump scares. [like 99.9% of horror films now a days] If you haven’t seen it yet – take advantage of it being on Netflix; because every positive review you’ve read is true, just take one word of advice: if you have a book calling itself Mister Babadook on your shelf, and you don’t recognize it – don’t touch it..don’t even look at it: Chances are, it’s probably not such a good idea.

If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review[s] please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #17! – STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

As most of you know, I’m a fairly big fan of Monster films. Frankenstein stands as one of my all time favorites, and the Universal Monster films are something that deserve all the love they got when they were first released. [I’m even trying to collect them all on Blu ray. Slowly] If you had friends who liked the same topic, such as films, as well, chances are; you’d probably make a club dedicated to said topic. It could be about anything really: comics, movies, video games; you get the idea. Can you imagine a club dedicated to monsters! Now, that would be an awesome club to be part of: but what would you name it? Monster Madness? The Miniature Monsters? Oh I got it! Why not: The Monster Squad? Wait..that’s probably already taken.. In light of us trying to figure out a monster club name, let’s talk about a monster movie from the late ’80s that has not one but four different monsters in it – and the kids who try to stop them! That movie, is none other than The Monster Squad!

The Monster Squad was directed by Fred Dekkar, a man you probably recognize as the Director of another 80s classic horror, Night Of The Creeps. The Monster Squad though, follows in the tradition as a horror-comedy film about a gang of grade-school kids who save their town from Dracula and his band of goons. Although it’s a fun film, The Monster Squad is no doubt, a much more enjoyable movie than Night Of The Creeps.

In the movie, The Monster Squad refers to a tree house club of five kids who call themselves horror fanatics. They have comic books, magazines, and posters scattered all over this little tree house of theirs. Unbeknownst to them, their enthusiasm toward the genre they love so dearly, would suddenly come in handy as their town in abruptly invaded by Dracula [and a few other memorable horror villains] in their most classic form. According to the story we’re given at the beginning of the movie, Drac is terrorizing the town only because he’s trying to locate a powerful amulet which has the potential for ruling the world type business. It’s when no one else believes the kids, or when no one else is powerful enough to stop them using traditional crime fighting methods [if we can be honest, arresting the Wolfman didn’t work out as effectively as the cops hoped], it’s up to The Monster Squad [with the help of Frankenstein, who decides to switch sides!] to save the day! The film is filled with great scenes as well, especially with memorable characters. Take Boo Radley for example, he’s a strange recluse of a man who all the kids fear without knowing why. [he’s just an old man who lives a few houses down from the kids] in one particular scene, when we learn that Sean, the leader of The Monster Squad, is given a book [that his mother got from a flea market?] that can explain why the monsters are reappearing in modern 1987, he has no choice but to seek the man’s help. As it turns out, the book is in German, which definitely confirms that the team of kids need Boo Radley. Not only does this “scary man” speak the language written inside, he kindly offers to help them get through the important passages in the book! Also, it happens that he knows what monsters are.. If you’re going to watch this with a younger audience, you probably will need to explain to your kids what the numbers tattooed on the scary mans forearm are..moving on.

you can’t say this isn’t the coolest group of kids ever.. I’d join their club!

The Monster Squad was done in the most positive light possible – it didn’t talk down to kids and put them in control when the adults wouldn’t believe them that Monsters were taking over their town. Plus, there were other monster references besides the scary ones! The children, kids and teens cast in this film were adorable and cast properly: there was the smart leader type kid who was obsessed with monsters, your typical “fat” kid, – who’s known as fat kid – the adorable little girl/sister type who wants to be a part of everything her older brothers and his friends did, and shy little boy who was really the coolest of them all! Shane Black, who was a popular screenwriter of the 80’s, knew what he was doing with this one; and Fred Dekker directed his young group really well. The movie never felt silly, it was a believable kids’ world where kids were the heroes of the day, and the parents were thankful they were..cause let’s be honest, the parents had no clue what to do.

By keeping the film true to all the rules of the classic Universal Monster films, which is the main reason why this film works so well. Dekker manages to ensure that the film will appeal to two of the major horror audiences; fans of the classics that will appreciate the plot and humor, and younger kids, who are bound to get a kick out of the characters and their witty dialogue. It’s something, for everyone. Be warned though, the film is very short, running at just over eighty minutes, but it has enough to keep everyone satisfied, with enough screen time for all the different monsters. What made this movie so special is it felt like we were seeing a “what if” The Goonies took on the old monsters.. Not to mention, the movie has arguable one of the coolest lines in film history; “Wolfman’s got nards!”, It’s a very 80s movie, but it’s all part of it’s charm.

So check out The Monster Squad! It’s the perfect blend of monster madness and child like wonder. It also includes a ton of references to older horror films, so it really is something for everyone! It’s cheesy, but in the best way possible, so if you’re looking for gorier films; you’re going to be missing out on this one! But, If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review[s], please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tomorrow morning when I talk about weirdo’ween #18! – STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.

PLEASE NOTE: If you follow me on Facebook, I posted saying that this was technically supposed to be posted yesterday, and with Firefox being lame, my entire post deleted itself and didn’t save a draft copy! I was also extremely busy after getting frustrated, as I was part of something all day so I didn’t get home last night until about 10:30pm; therefore, I’m stuck writing two reviews today, starting with yesterday’s now; and today’s tonight. [if that makes any sense]

Thanks for understanding, and now-

on to the actual review!

It’s always in New York isn’t it? [sorry, any New York readers] It’s either Monsters, Aliens, Super heroes, or anything else that isn’t supposed to happen in the world..

Today’s [although, technically yesterday’s] movie review also takes place in New York, specifically – New York City where a group of bizarre murders seem to point to a group of grotesquely deformed homeless people living in the sewers. To find out what’s happening, it’s going to take a courageous policeman, a photo journalist and his girlfriend, and a nutty bum – who seems to know a lot about the creatures then he lets on, to try and figure out just what is going on, and how to stop them from continuing.

The movie itself isn’t a masterpiece to say in the least, with it’s small budget and little to unknown actors but, it has itself a cult following that the fans love – for being less than good. But for as awkward, terrible, and weird of a film it comes across as – I enjoy the movie. That’s right, I enjoyed C.H.U.D.

C.H.U.D. or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers, is an odd film. It’s notorious for having a low budget… but the story is alright, and the sewer sets look decent when they crawl to the underground. Daniel Stern is the cook/manager of a soup kitchen who is wondering where his assorted homeless buddies have disappeared to. But it’s Christopher Curry who is very good as a police officer searching for his missing wife. These scenes with Curry and Stern are funny [and not only due to the bad acting] and it’s interesting to watch their friendship develop as they deal with the rampaging CHUDs. One interesting note: watch for John Goodman as a cop, being as this is one of his earliest roles, he does get slaughtered in a diner. It’s cheesy, but it’s entertaining to say in the least. It’s not a bad scene, it just could have been..more.

If we were to look back to when the movie was made, the creature effects were actually quite good..at least for what they were. But, of course, with today’s standard – they are quite primitive looking and they feel like they’re out of date. The music score in the movie bears typical tones of 80’s horror music, being symphonic in a way that will almost always lead up to the scares. And it does work well, think about it; without such music, horror movies would be less interesting to watch.

Unfortunately, this is where the entertainment value drops – dramatically. The problems are high with movie, with it’s direction feeling like it’s lacking, the pacing being really off, and one of the biggest flaws is with it being it’s basic story construction. Simply put, there are too many characters. Kim Greist is an alright person to look at, but her character is really tacked on – I mean, she just gives us a pretty face to put in danger.. She and John Heard have no chemistry whatsoever, and it’s damn near impossible to believe they’re supposed to act as a couple. Even if these kinds of problems are found in some of the most watchable of horror films, why is it so noticeable here? One flaw, that people bring up a lot is that C.H.U.D. just isn’t scary or even remotely exciting.. The C.H.U.D. “monsters”, who we learn are actually homeless people exposed to radiation, look kind of cool. [see above!] But they don’t seem to move fast enough to be a threat to anyone under age 80.. It’s as if the movie itself relies on their sharp claws and teeth to make them seem formidable; which doesn’t work as effectively as one would hope. We don’t see enough of them in action either, and when we do; it’s only body parts and wounds that are shown on their victims. If you know even a little bit about movie editing, this is a sure tell sign of a very low budget.

Also, because of it’s alright script, why wouldn’t the government, who’s working with big industry types, be the big bad? One concern/complaint I have is by the end of the movie, after things seem to going for the worse, the head of the chemical company is killed – and then the film concludes abruptly. Wait. What this implies then is killing man in charge of all that chemical waste was all that really needed to be done in order to stop the C.H.U.D.s? But, what about all of the other monsters still left in the sewers?? Other than the one beheaded by Ms. Greist, I don’t recall seeing any of the others killed! Is that the movie’s way of saying that there is a homeless problem in New York City? That’s…kind of strange actually. I don’t get it.

C.H.U.D. is one of those movies that is hard to recommend because it isn’t that great: it’s cheesy, it’s ridiculous, and it’s a cult classic for a reason. It isn’t a gory film, or even remotely scary; but for some reason [probably for how bad it is] it’s enjoyable. So if you’re looking for a movie to waste some time, and you don’t care about the fantastic writing skills – why not try it out? If you don’t make it all the way through the film though, I’ll understand. Y’know, maybe I should talk about an actual good movie next..

But, If you have an idea for the next weirdo’ween review[s], please let me know which movie[s] you’d like to see next! If you found yourself to enjoy this particular review – and want to see more – then take a minute and follow me over on my Facebook page [it’s at over 120+ likes almost at 130!] By clicking that “like” button, you’ll see every post from warrenisweird the very moment it’s been posted online; as well as links to articles and pictures/videos that will not be featured here on the blog. Every “like” helps me a ton, giving me the ability to write more posts for you to read, so be sure to tell the horror enthusiast in your life to do the same, and share The Facebook Page with your family and friends! Join me tonight [to make up for having to rewrite yesterday’s] when I talk about weirdo’ween #19! – STAY TUNED!

THANKS FOR READING.